Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have lasting emotional and psychological impacts on individuals, especially children. These stressful experiences could include the loss of a loved one, parents’ divorce, moving to a new place, witnessing violence, experiencing different forms of abuse, being bullied at school, neglect, abandonment, or any other traumatic event. Regarding the prevalence of childhood trauma, research indicates that as many as 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. Helping children cope with trauma requires recognizing the symptoms of trauma in children, addressing their immediate and long-term needs, and providing them with the support and resources necessary to heal and thrive.
How to Know If Your Child Has Experienced Trauma
Children experience trauma differently from adults due to their developmental stage and limited coping mechanisms. Whether a child made a disclosure or you found out some other way, recognizing the symptoms of trauma in children is important to be able to support them adequately and help them heal and thrive after the experience.
Here are some symptoms to look out for:
- Emotional responses such as fear, anxiety, depression, anger, and irritability
- Behavioral responses such as withdrawal, aggression
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach pain, nausea, and dizziness.
- Not wanting to be left alone – clingy behavior.
- Intrusion symptoms such as increased nightmares,
- Unusual symbolic play behavior
- Inappropriate language and behavior for a child’s age
- Trouble sleeping or not wanting to go to bed alone.
- Avoidance behaviors include not wanting to talk about certain issues and avoiding certain places, persons, objects, and situations.
- Angry outbursts
Helping Children Cope with Trauma: Immediate Interventions
Below are some tips we can use to help children cope in the aftermath of a traumatic experience.
- Make the child feel safe. This could simply be done by giving extra cuddles, hugs, or a reassuring pat on the back.
- Act calm. Avoid discussing your anxieties with or around the child. Be aware of your tone of voice.
- Create and maintain routines. Planning structured activities and adhering to a set routine will help them feel a sense of control and predictability amidst the chaos and changes they could be experiencing.
- Help the child enjoy themself. Distract the child with activities and play with others.
- Be honest. Share information about what happened in brief and honest ways. It’s best for the child to receive information from a safe and trusted adult. They will ask questions and can be repetitive. Pick a good time to share information. Look out for natural openings to have a discussion.
- Prevent/limit exposure to triggering media. TV, news coverage, or radio that is related to their traumatic experience can make the trauma seem ongoing.
- Understand that children cope in different ways. Let the child know it’s ok to experience anger, guilt, and sadness and express them differently.
- Help the child to relax with breathing exercises. For example, hold a wad of cotton in front of the child’s mouth and ask them to blow at it, exhaling slowly. Or say, ‘Let’s breathe in slowly while I count 1, 2, 3, then out while I count 1, 2, 3’. This exercise can also be done by blowing bubbles or a pinwheel.
- Acknowledge how the child is feeling. Avoid saying: ‘Don’t be worried’. Instead, you can say: ‘Yes, I can see you are worried.’ Validate their feelings instead of trying to fix them.
- Know that it’s okay to answer, ‘I don’t know.’ Listen to the child’s questions, accept their feelings, and be there for them.
Helping Children Cope with Trauma: Long-term Interventions
Teach Coping Skills and Stress Management Techniques:
These skills may include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, progressive muscle relaxation, or positive self-talk. Teaching children how to regulate their emotions and calm their minds will help them cope more effectively with stressors and triggers. They also need opportunities for physical activity, outdoor play, and sensory-based activities to help them release pent-up energy and tension in healthy ways.
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Encourage Emotional Expression and Validation:
Children need opportunities to express and process their feelings in healthy ways. Encouraging open communication and validating their emotions without judgment can help them feel understood and supported. This can also be done through creative expression art, music, or storytelling. When we acknowledge their experiences and emotions, children can begin to make sense of what happened and work through their trauma.
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Adopt a Strength-Based Approach:
Empowering children to recognize their strengths, resilience, and coping abilities is essential for promoting healing and growth. A strength-based approach focuses on identifying and building upon children's existing assets and positive qualities such as their strengths, talents, and achievements. Doing this can help children develop a sense of competence, confidence, and optimism about their future. This can mitigate the negative effects of trauma and foster a sense of hope and resilience.
Seek Professional Help and Therapeutic Interventions:
It is important to seek professional help and appropriate therapeutic interventions when children are struggling to cope with trauma. There are many therapeutic interventions tailored for children, including Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), play therapy, Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Family therapy or parent-child interventions can also help improve family dynamics and promote healing for the child and everyone involved. This will help children process their traumatic experiences, develop coping skills, and address any underlying emotional or behavioral issues.
Helping Children Cope with Trauma
Helping children cope with trauma and build resilience requires a comprehensive and collaborative approach that addresses their emotional, psychological, and social needs. By creating safe and supportive environments, encouraging emotional expression, teaching coping skills, providing social support, seeking professional help, and empowering children, we can provide children with the tools and resources they need to heal and thrive.
HopeNation therapists are experienced in working with children using evidence-based interventions such as TF-CBT, EMDR, and PCIT to help them process the yucky thoughts and feelings as well as behavioral issues they grapple with after a traumatic experience.
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